finding happiness
by Xxcreativekittyxx
Summary: 3 years after Naru leaves Mai with a broken heart from him stating that she love Gene and not him, Mai falls into depression and slowly loses contact with everyone in SPR except John. Plus Mai has been having terrifying nightmares about old cases and losing Naru. Johns had been trying to help her with her fears and nightmares. rest of the summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Finding happiness: ghost hunt**

**Summary: 3 years after Naru leaves Mai with a broken heart from him stating that she love Gene and not him, Mai falls into depression and slowly loses contact with everyone in SPR except John. Plus Mai has been having terrifying nightmares about old cases and losing Naru. Johns had been trying to help her with her fears and nightmares. But that doesn't help her that easily. She is still terrified of going to sleep. Suddenly Naru comes back from England after staying with his family for a while and the funeral. Plus he wants SPR to come back together. What will Mai think when she fines out? *there maybe be suicidal thoughts and this is T, so don't read if you don't like. Plus my writing style is different. Pairings: narumai maybe monkayako or masakojohn* "talking out loud" 'thoughts' ******this is my first fanfic*************


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1: coming back…

Mai's POV:

' I'm so tired' I thought 'why did he have to leave me with nightmares and sadness.' I was waiting… waiting for john to come to my apartment so he could take me to my therapist that I refuse to go to every week. He picks me up at ten o'clock, it was already nine. 'He will be hear soon' I though. 'One hour to go then I get to see john. But, I don't want any more medication…' "that's it I'm not going. I hope john won't be mad." I whispered to myself. I walked to my bed room to get dressed. When I was getting dressed I saw my arms, they were scared with new cut. Then I remembered John always checks every week when he comes over to try to bring me to my therapist. "Crap! I wish I didn't do it last night!" I said. After I put on my pants and shirt then the doorbell rang. I said coming quickly and came to the door. I hesitated to open the door, then finally I just opened it. I sighed and said "Hello". John said hello back before I invited him in. He said "Were not going to the therapist today we have to talk about something." I gave him a questioning look and said "what do you want to talk about?" John said,"Naru is back, and he wants you to work for him again at SPR with everyone." "WHAT? I thought he was in England! Why did he suddenly come back?" I yelled. John said,"I don't know but he wants you to work as his ascendant again. Will you give it a try? Please for your family at SPR." I froze. I was shocked. 'After he said that to me, He wants me to come back?' I said,"No way I'm working for that jerk again! He's the one giving me all these nightmares! He's the one that made me depressed! I'm not going to work for him again none of the less see him! I can't, I already have a job at the café across the street from SPR! How could I work for him when he did this to me!" I cried. John tried to comforted me by rubbing my back and saying " it's okay, you don't have to work there if you don't want to." Once I calmed down john said," you're going to have to face them someday, you know. They're going to find out sooner or later." I faced him and said looking down," I know but I'm going to wait it out as long as I can." He said "Okay but I have to go to SPR im already late because I said I would talk to you about it. do you want a ride to work? its across from SPR right?" I said "yea and your right its right across." Then I said one minute and I went in my room to change in to my long pants because it was a little cold outside.( its fall ) I got my coat and went outside to johns car. We didn't talk in the car just listen to the news one the radio. The weatherman said it was going to be clear sky today. It wasn't a long drive before we got there. He drop me off and I went to work.

Johns POV:

When I got to SPR and walked in the door, the team greeted me (except naru and lin.). monk said, "where's Mai didn't you say you were giving her a ride? You didn't forget her did you?" ayako hit monk with her purse and said, "no he couldn't of! she problely is coming right now." Before john got to speak Naru said, " if she is coming, she is late." "sorry guy, she said she already has a job and is not coming to work here" said john sadly. Everyone one said, "WHAT?" Naru spoke up and said, "clearly john said that she already has a job. Don't you listen."

Naru's POV:

'why didn't she come? She was supposed to come. Why isn't she working for me?' I thought

**sorry its so short**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

Mai's POV:

It was the end of the work day and I was just getting out of work. When I walked out the door I saw monk and Ayako heading out of work so I decided to use the back entrance to go back home. Even though I wanted to see them I count risks them telling naru that I work here. But Since I moved they don't know where I live, so I'm safe. When I got into my apartment I ran to my room and started to cry. I was so upset that I couldn't say hi to them and hug them but I was so scared that they would ask for my phone number (which she changed) or ask for my address. I just didn't want to risk it. So I ran like a little baby. I ran because I was afraid, but I'm supposed to face fear not shy or run away from them. I'm so lonely I don't even talk to my old friends anymore they think I'm no fun and to depressed to be around, so they quit trying to cheer me you and leafed me just like naru and the SPR team. They quit trying to help and just quit. I miss them but I can't see them. I know I should be happy to have one friend but I'm not, I'm lonely and depressed. The feeling coming back again... I wish I could stop but I can't,It's too hard to fight it any more. I have to... It's a need now, I have to cut. No one is going to help me. I go in to the bathroom to the sink. " it's under the sink" I tell myself. I go under the sink to get my razor. I think 'it already has dried blood from last night' but I need to. I bring the razor to my skin, my hand was shaking from the nervousness I had. In the back of my brain it said don't do it but I didn't listen. I slid the razor on my wrist. I grabbed the towel and put presser on it then did it again. And again. And again. Until I had 3 red mark on my wrist. After I did it I felt sadness that I just did what I did. I felt disappointed in myself but tried to ignore it and get rest even though I would wake up in 5 hours...

John's POV:

When I got out of work I suddenly remembered that I had to check Mai arms for cuts. I was worried about her. I decided I would take her to work and check two days from now. I'm not sure if Naru would allow half a day off again but I will try I'll say it's an emergency and I need to help someone out. But at work today monk, Ayako, and Yasu were bugging me about mai and I said I couldn't say because she said not to. But then they asked why and I said I couldn't answer that. It wasn't bothersome just hard to say I can't tell you to everyone. I bet is going to be like that tomorrow to. And I can't help worrying that on are next case (which we didn't get yet) that she is going to be alone and I'm not going to be there to help her with her nightmares and fears. I hope we don't get a case that soon.

THE NEXT DAY:

Mai's POV:

I just woke up again from another nightmare about all the case we've been on and about someone I care dying. I look at the clock, Then yelled," oh no! I'm going to be late again!" I got up toke a quick shower got dressed in to my other work uniform and brush my hair and teeth. I ran out the door, and ran down the road to the café. I made it just in time. I started working and asking people for their orders. It was boring but I got it done it was my break so I decided get something to eat at the café. Since I work there I got a 30% off food and drinks. So I decided to get toast and a coffee. When I was done with my break I started working again. Time when by fast it's was finally almost the end of the day and there was one more customer so went up to them and didn't look at them and say welcome! How May I help you? In a happy tone that was offeusly fake. I heard the voice and froze it was monk and Ayako. Then monk said, " is that you mai?!" Then I said trying to make a different voice,"no?" Oh no I made it sound like a question! " it is you mai!" Ayako said. Monk yelled," where have you been?!" I froze. I coundnt speak finally started to cry and I ran away out the door and down the street. I could hear monk calling after me. I desided to run on back roads and allys to lose him. It worked. At lease I wouldn't lose my job because it was closing time anyway and I won't have to explain too. I ran into my house and ran and cried myself to sleep.

Monks POV:

I yelled mai and couldn't find her anywhere. I lost her. Dang. I went back to the café where I Ayako was standing there with a worried face. I ran up to her and said out of breath," I couldn't find her any where she was making turns at every cornor. I'm sorry" Ayako questioned," but why did she run away? I guess we will check the café for her tomorrow.

Right when we get out of work and tell everyone we found her."

**sorry so short. just cant seem to make it longer.:( i'll update as soon as i can:D**


	4. author's note

disclaimer: i don't own ghost hunt. sometimes i wish i did but i think it would be better with out me owning it. :D :3 :) have a nice night or day!


	5. finding out

Chapter 3 or 4: (I losted trace)

Mai's POV:

I was already awake by the time it was morning and still have nightmares. ' I wish I could just get over this' I thought. I did my regular routine and when to work.

Monk's POV:

I was driving to work when I saw Mai running to her job at the café. I wanted to say hi but I knew she would run away. I still couldn't get over the fear in her eyes as she ran away from us. I plan on tell everyone at SPR that me and Ayako saw Mai at the café across the street and we should go greet her and make sure that she is okay.

When I got to SPR I spotted everyone on the couch drinking Yasuhara's tea. How we all loved and still love Mai's tea. I said, "Hey everyone I got some news!" everyone look up at me and said, "what?" I said, " me and Ayako were at the café across the street and saw Mai working there." mostly everyone said, "why is she working there and not with us?" Ayako interrupted and said, "That's not it she ran away from us crying with a worried expression. Plus when monk tried to chase her she was turning corners left and right. But monk didn't catch her!" then I suddenly got hit with a bag. I said, "Ouch! That hurt you old hag!" that earned me another hit. As I rubbed my head I said, "That's why I think we should all try to talk to her after work!" john spoke up, " I don't think that's a good idea, she is very upset right now and she doesn't even call me about anything anymore."

"Wait, what?! You talk to her! Why didn't you tell us? what's wrong? Is she ok?" I said all at once. John said, "Well she didn't want anyone to know I talk to her and she has to tell you the rest because like I said she doesn't even talk to me. Plus I really don't think we should go there." I said, "but we have to find out what's wrong! So I think we should go!" Naru suddenly walked out into the couch area and said, "no, not on work hours." Then I said, "come on Naru! We should all go even you! Please!" Naru said, " if your going to bug me all day, fine. we will go at 2:00 pm." Then I yelled, "yes!"

At 2:00 pm:

" here's the plan… we go in ask for Mai to be our waitress and while Naru, lin and me are at the door Ayako, Masako and john go up to her and say hi and talk little and ask her question and if she runs away we will be here to stop her. Done. Problem solved." John said again, "I still don't think this is a good idea." That's when we walked in.

Mai's POV:

I was in the kitchen when one of the other workers at the café said, "someone has asked for you to wait on table 6." Not thinking I said, "okay!" when I walked out and looked at table 6 the whole SPR team was there except Naru and Lin were there. I hesitated to walk up to the table, but I didn't want to lose my job so I went up and said trying to sound as happy as I could, "welcome, how may I take you order?"

Then Yasu said, "I'll have a large coffee with a" before he could finish Ayako said, "YASU! Stop, we didn't come here to order!" I tried to put a smile on my face but failed. I looked down at my shoes. Ayako started again, "honey, why were you running away from us yesterday. Is there something wrong? If there is please tell me ." That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to start crying, so I tried to run out. But I bumped into someone at the door. I looked up to say sorry when I saw Naru there. I froze in place and started to cry. Then I backed away from him. I thought 'there's no way out!' Naru and monk are blocking it and lin is probably outside waiting…I tried to run to the kitchen when monk grabbed me and ask, "when are you out of work?" I decided to comply and looked at the clock. I said, "5 minutes…"

"Well I don't he/she would care if you're going with your friends 5 minutes early." Monk said. I thought 'I hope so' I was still crying from all pain. I was frightened that Naru would ask me questions or find out about my secret (cutting). I hope he never does. For a minute I saw Naru with a shocked face but the he gain composer. I still love Naru, but I just couldn't say it after what happened.

They took me to the SPR office where they would question me. I knew that. When we got there john said kindly, "will you please tell them or they are going to force it out of me and I know you won't want that." I didn't say anything, just sobbed. I finally said, " im sorry…" and everyone froze in shock. Then Naru spoke up and said, " come in to my office, we will talk there."

I shake my head no and and say, "no please no." then Ayako says,"its for your own good Mai." And monk took me into Naru's lair (or should I say office) I screamed, " no please no!" again but they didn't listen. when we got in monk sat me in a chair and walked out. I knew I he was standing by the door tho. Naru said, "Now, what's wrong?" I shake my head saying no. still trying to keep from crying. But a few tears slip. Naru asked again in a harsher tone. I said, "I can't tell you…"

he said, "you're not leaving this room until you talk!" "It's all your fault… you're giving me nightmares…I can't sleep because of you! I'm depressed because of you! You're the one that made me this way! What's wrong with you?! Asking me or gene! I can't take it! It's too hard!-"I got cut off by him saying suddenly, "what's on your arm?" then I look at my arm and see a cut showing, I cover it quickly. Naru said,  
"Show me your arms now!" then I refuse and cry. He takes my arm and pulls up the sleeve quickly and I hiss from the pull. He sees what I have done, Naru whispers, "why did you do this to yourself? Why? Was it because of me?" I froze in shock of what he said. I couldn't say anything. I whisper, "I'm sorry…" "That's it you're staying with me in my house and you can't say no. someone has to watch you at all times now. We are going to pick up your things now." Naru said. "Please don't tell anyone. "I say looking at my shoes.

"Fine but I'm telling them you're not being safe if the ask why your living in my house." Naru said.

**i dont own ghost hunt. remember to review, follow, and favorite! :D :3 :) pleaseeeee!**


	6. Chapter 6

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